it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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