Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
operation harelip BJ is a go
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
