The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
