I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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