THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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