DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
