Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
