can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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