so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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