god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
