Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
