Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
