I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize