if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Someone came in the potted fern
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
