I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize