just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
