Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
