Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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