To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
