Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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