Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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