the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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