Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
