super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
