You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
