He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
