If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize