Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize