oh god the rape fog is back!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are my feet made of real feet?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
