oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
