Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
