Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
