dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
