I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
