you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
