I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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