I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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