And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
