Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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