There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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