hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
