Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
