you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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