She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
