I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
