Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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