She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
