Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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