Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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