your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My vagina is very pro this idea
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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