Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
