i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
