Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
