____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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