I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
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I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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