Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
