My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
