Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
